PUT A RING ON IT FOR LESS THAN A POUND!

Asda Launches 96p 'Diamond' Engagement Rings Just in Time for Valentine’s Day!

In a move that says, "I love you" while whispering "I still need to pay the electric bill," Asda is helping shoppers pop the question without popping their overdraft limit. For less than the price of a loose cucumber (98p), romantics can now secure a rock that - if you squint in the right light - looks suspiciously like a month’s salary.

The masterpiece features a "gemstone" so dazzling it might actually be visible from space (or at least from the frozen aisle). It comes complete with a red velvet box, ensuring the presentation is 2,000% more expensive than the jewellery itself.